When we come from a place of integrity and changes occur then the changes belong in our lives. Fear of change is usually the fear of losing something. If we understand everything is happening as it needs to, then we never need to fear losing anything. It is usually only the fear of the change that prevents us from changing along with our partners. By letting go of our fears, we will know that no matter how much we might change, we will attract whatever and whoever is representative, harmonious, and unified with our changes. If we allow change into our lives as we naturally grow and evolve — instead of resisting it or pretending it isn’t happening — the vast amounts of energy we used to put into resisting change become available for our own creative purposes. It has been said the only constant thing in this world is change. As we honour the changes that occur in our lives, we will find we no longer experience others who have made the choice to live and act differently. We will interact and co-create with those who exist on the same level as we do, with similar natures and vibrations. The best way to share our wisdom and ideas is to simply be an example ourselves. The energy and vibration of who we are radiates from us, and is picked up psychically by all those who are of the same vibration. If someone in our lives changes and makes the choice to leave us, we should not look upon the relationships or ourselves as a failures. The parting of ways in a relationship is the signal that the lessons both of us have chosen to learn are completed.
“CHANGING” OUR PARTNER
If we feel we have to mould, change, or manipulate our partners, the relationship bears examination. When we force someone to do something, it is a statement that we believe we will never really get what we are after, or that the person we are with will not be able to give it to us. When we force changes in our relationships, even if certain changes occur for a while, our relationships are no longer in balance or integrity. Sooner or later the individuals who are being forced to go against their true selves will be forced to leave as the relationship is no longer a reflection of the real them. Force is a non-integrated, distorted way of taking action. Remember, everyone naturally moves at the perfect rate and speed for themselves already. There is never any positive reason to accelerate someone (by force) to look and accept things they are not ready for. Even if they would be able to hear or see some part of the lesson we are attempting to force down their throats, until they are ready, in their own time and place, they will never grasp a true understanding of the lesson we are forcing them to learn. And because of our intervention, their original lesson became distorted and is much more difficult and confusing for them to learn. Usually, once interfered with, they will have to recreate their lesson all over again in an effort to counterbalance our interference. This has happened to all of us. How many times, when we sought to help someone who didn’t asked for our help and upon whom we have forced our help, did their situation get worse? At first it may seem we have set things right for them for a while. After a few weeks or months, it will become evident to us that the person is now in even a worse position than before. What has happened is that their Higher Selves are so determined for them to fully understand and learn their original lessons that they have recreated the necessary energetics, except this time the lesson is ten times or one hundred times more intense than before. Each of us will keep turning up the intensity of our creations, until our original lessons have truly been understood and completed on all four levels of our being. Someone is ready to truly gain from our assistance and wisdom when they ask, of their own free will, for our guidance and insight. In such an instance, truth and wisdom is then shared, understood, and integrated in just the right way. The other person, by the fact of their asking, is in just the right place and state where they can truly hear, know and understand what we have to offer.
If we feel we need to keep ourselves safe or protect ourselves, we will end up limiting the type of relationships we can create. I have been told many times by my clients that they are not currently in a relationship because it does not feel safe for them. Two things might be the cause of this. If we feel we need safety, we may somehow feel we are in a relationship that will not allow us to be our real selves. On the other hand, if we are in a relationship that is not satisfying, but we stay in it because we feel safe, maybe we are not safe with the idea of taking full responsibility for who and what we are, and who and what we could be. As soon as we stop resisting our natural selves, our reality will automatically change to allow loving and supportive relationships to come into our lives. In some cases, some clients report they need safety to avoid being in a position where they could be abandoned or vulnerable. Some of us would rather be alone than express our true inner needs. If we are in a relationship where we do not feel safe or comfortable expressing our deepest inner needs, we are alone anyway. We are simply alone together.
In creating relationships that work with love and joy, it is important to express our vulnerability. Vulnerability has earned somewhat of a bad reputation in our society. Vulnerability really means we are open to all that we are. Vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness. Vulnerability is not exposure, it is full and total trust. Vulnerability does not mean being open to everyone and everything so they can take pot shots at us. Vulnerability means being open and available to our true, preferred selves, for when we open up to ourselves, we are open and available to the infinite Source of all creation. Connecting to our infinite creation will bring us peace, strength, and power, and it makes our lives real, joyous, magical, and happy. Strangely enough, many times we might only feel we are in control, when we are expending or exerting an effort. Vulnerability allows us to be in control effortlessly. Why would we need to expend effort to be in control of something that we already are?
Trust really boils down to our own ability to trust ourselves. Complete trust occurs when we have an absolute knowingness we deserve to exist. Do we have to do something special in order to deserve to exist? No. We simply have to be. Creation has already decreed we deserve to exist. Can we give ourselves the same acknowledgment, respect, and love? We have a Divine right to exist in the manner we choose, simply because we prefer it! There is no other reason needed.
Most of the problems that occur in relationships are caused by what is not being said, rather than what is said. Non communication, or withheld communication, is simply another way many of us hold back the real us from our partner. The problem with unspoken communication is more complex than might first be perceived. Saying “everything is all right,” when we are thinking “drop dead,” won’t fool the other person for very long. Our real heart’s truth and our honest feelings will always be psychically picked up by the other person on some level. Count on it! This is an ability we all have. It is the same sense that tells us when there has been a big fight or disagreement as we step into a strangely quiet and tense room. It is the same sense that we use psychically to energetically scan large groups of strangers at a party, as we decide who would be interesting to spend an evening getting to know. Direct unspoken communication is often used by intent by an acquaintance of mine who is well versed in martial arts. He uses it to defeat very powerful and well known karate masters. Gifted in his own right, this particular gentleman is very aware of the power of unspoken communication and uses it to his advantage. As he takes his preliminary bows before his match begins, he smiles on the outside while mentally projecting extreme violence towards his opponent. His opponent energetically and mentally picks up these projected waves of discordant energy. These waves temporarily short out his opponents’ power centres, making it almost impossible for them to defend themselves as the bout begins. Every relationship, in order to grow and flourish, requires open and honest communication coming from a point of inner truth and balance. Honest communication enables the other person to truly relate and to have a relationship with who we actually are. Open, clear, conscious communication enables the other person to observe and act with trust, for they know where they stand. By being clear and direct, they won’t be receiving one message from us verbally and another mismatched or opposing one psychically. It is time to share what is in our hearts with truth, trust, honest, and clarity.
True creative relationships are expressed and experienced from a state of relaxed trust and creative joy. Relationships are simply learning how to play with each other, how to love and accept ourselves unconditionally, and how to trust who and what we are. When we share ourselves in a relationship, we will feel our own sense of completeness, and we will realize we are never alone. In creative relationships, it is very important to remember how to play and balance our energy, both as an adult and as a child. To have a successful relationship, we must awaken the divine young child inside ourselves first. A young child is full of curiosity and knows the universe is beautiful and full of surprises. A young child is naturally loving and trusts in a positive way. A young child is naturally truthful and in integrity. A young child is more occupied with being natural, not normal. A young child lets their imagination soar, unlimited in the creation of a magical and miraculous world. Always, always seek out a good playmate for your primary relationships, and especially someone who knows how to play fair. Allow yourselves to remember the world is magical, and allow that magic and enchantment back into your life. Be who you are, and do the things you love to do as often as you can! That is really the only way to really live our lives.